Saturday, June 9, 2012

Men and the City

At some point in every girl's life, we meet guys, go out on a few dates and while some dates turn into serious relationships, most other dates give us a glimpse of different personalities (read: psychopaths). In order to help some of you girls out there who may have difficulties reading men, I will attempt to share my dating experience by classifying them into categories. Take note that these categories are non-exhaustive simply because each guy is unique in his own way and that there is no way I can cover the entire male population just by boxing them into certain types. However, here are some of the more common types that I've encountered so far:

1. The Player - lots of money and lots of women. This guy will call you at a specific time every day but you almost always could not get him when you call and he does all the calling because of only one reason-- he is using a secondary number to call you. He will only ask you out on certain days of the week all the time, much like your ice cream bar's 'flavor of the day'. And when you're out in public with him, he seems distracted and always checking out other people, afraid that someone might recognize him.

Girls, I cannot stress enough on how dangerous this guy is. He is the perfect recipe for heartbreak and disillusionment, so run towards the opposite direction, far far away from him. Run as fast as you can because his good looks and suave nature will be your downfall.

2. The Booty Call - this one's less sly than The Player and he makes no attempt at hiding his real intentions, which is, duh, sex. Some, out of politeness will ask you how your day went, blah blah but his real question always goes along the lines of 'what are you doing tonight' at 9:30pm on a Sunday night. He is also MIA from your life except when he needs you.

The Booty Call guy can come in different shapes and sizes, he is not a bad guy, nor is he a good one. He just likes having fun and if you have the same expectations, then it is totally fine. But be careful not to get emotionally attached with this one because once guys have placed you in the 'bed zone', you will find it almost impossible to get to the 'serious relationship zone', if that is what you're looking for.
3. Houdini - intense first date, followed by a second, third and fourth date. You are on cloud nine because you think that you've finally found someone whom you can connect with on all levels. Then he disappears into thin air without a word or warning.

Don't go looking for him because he will be untraceable. You will start to question yourself on why things have gone wrong and even blame yourself while you rewind every single thing that you could have said or done to make him disappear just like he did. Guess what? It's him, not you. A decent, mature guy will always give you closure even if he has to be the bad guy by doing so. Houdini is not even worth a second chance if he does return from the dead.
4. The Multiple Identity Disorder (MID) - one minute he's John and the next, he's Andy. This guy has serious identity issues and his mood can swing from ecstatic to depressed within a few minutes. Ultimately confused with his life and where you fit in, he may even be dating other girls behind your back and blame you and your lack of attention for him in order to justify his behavior. He is totally unpredictable, not to mention dangerous because his erratic mental condition is infectious.

Unless you want to spend the rest of your days in self pity or you are a really good shrink, avoid this guy at all cost. MID guys can even be a combination of The Player, The Booty Call and Houdini, or anyone else. You will never know what is up with this guy because he can change into anyone, really.

5. The Keeper - as the name suggests, he is one for the books. The One. The perfect guy. His type is so elusive and hard to come by that they're almost mythical. But until you've found him, and the feeling goes both ways, keep dating. Not because you want to find him, but also because we all have to go through growing pains in life that shape us into better individuals.


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